Are You Ready for the Birds and the Bees?

By Tais Richardson

As see in the Summer 2013 issue of Multiplicity Magazine.

 

Every parent dreads the day in which they have to talk about where babies come from. Some can handle it graciously with a simple bedside conversation that assures the kids this is all very normal. Others, not so much. This is where it can turn rather humorous.

Confession of a Parent of Multiples

I always say that parenthood is 51% awesome and 49% hell. Describing why the 2% difference is so worth it is really hard. There’s a scene in “The Backup Plan” with Jennifer Lopez that I love. Not her best work, but you know anything with twins, I’m all over it. So a dad in the park is trying to explain to the soon-to-be dad of J.Lo’s twins that parenthood is a bunch of awful things with a few amazing things sprinkled in. “It’s awful, awful, awful and then something amazing happens. Then awful, awful, awful.” I have never heard a truer statement in my life! So while we are trying to convince our friends, sisters and brothers that kids are what make our lives worth living, these are the things we do NOT tell them. The things that we think, that keep our feet on the ground.

• I always compare them even though I know I shouldn’t
• If one doesn’t finish the bottle, we let the other have it. Tossing breast milk is a sin.
• If there’s a quiet moment, there is nothing more exciting than sleep.
• I carry mine up and down the stairs in a laundry basket so I don’t have to make two trips.
• Sometimes I let them play in their crib for an extra 5 minutes so I can sleep a little longer.
• We play the ‘whoever cries loudest gets picked up first’ game. The same kid always wins.
• I would rather spoon my kids than my partner.
• The thing that hurt the worst during my twin pregnancy was trading in our paid-off car for a minivan because there wasn’t enough room.
• I haven’t shaved in four weeks. I’m actually pissed that it’s almost summer and shaving is all but mandatory.
• I wish I didn’t have to drive a minivan.
• Most days I am 90% sure I ruined my five-year-old’s life.
• Only the strong survive.
• I have fed both on the changing table in the middle of the night next to poop diapers.
• I have told my babysitter that unless the diaper can be wrung out, do not change it. Diapers are expensive.
• Things I’d rather do than sex: sleep, eat chocolate, pedicure, play on my iPhone, do laundry, go grocery shopping, blink…
• What’s sex?
• I’d take ten minutes to myself with coffee spiked with Kahlua, I still don’t remember sex…
• I’d rather eat a bug than have sex (lol).
• Each night at bedtime we pick a kid, and that kid is yours for the whole night. If my kid was good, I would point and laugh and say, “Should’ve picked a better kid!”
• I secretly cherished the little one’s time in the NICU because it gave me amazing one-on-one with his sister in my room, and uninterrupted time with him in the NICU.
• You really wish the pediatrician would say it’s an ear infection because if this is how this kid acts when she ISN’T sick, holy hell!
• You never, ever feel present enough. Or happy enough. Or attentive enough. Or fair enough. Or clean enough.
• You analyze everything they do and relate it back to “The mom whose kids _________.”
• You never feel like you’re doing it right. But if they’re alive, you know you’re doing it right.

I like to describe having twins like a marathon. It’s hard. It’s hell at times. But the reward and the sense of accomplishment are indescribable. Being a parent of multiples allows you several things: to laugh (mostly to yourself) at parents with only one child, to be completely cynical about parenthood while secretly savoring the tender moments that may be few and far between, and most importantly, to not only have the biggest badge of honor in your heart for what you accomplish every day, but to have it kiss you goodnight. Our kids ROCK! Parents of multiples are selfless, patient and all around awesome! But let’s keep the negative comments to ourselves. We make this look easy, right?!

By Danielle R.

Friday Funny: Business Time ;)

Flight of the Conchords- Business Time

This video is funny every time I watch it!! What a great way to end our marriage week series!…lol (check out the links below to make sure you didn’t miss one. It’s not to late to enter!)

How I Fell Back In Love With My Husband – Babeland giveaway – Body Kit

Love Your Sexy, Pregnant Self – Babeland giveaway – Luna Beads (kegal beads)

10 Tips to Help Your Marriage Thrive – Babeland giveaway- JimmyJane Form 3 Vibrators

Babysitters Saved My Sex Life – Babeland giveaway – Honeymoon in a box

 

 

 

 

Love Your Sexy, Pregnant Self

Written byMary- Staff writer for Babeland

I’ve been somewhat overwhelmed by the number of articles that I have found online about pregnancy and  body image.  I find myself turned off to these articles when I see them because most of them have messaging like, “don’t worry your body will return to normal” or “it’s okay to eat more now that you are pregnant”.  I get it, there is a lot of pressure out there for women to stay skinny and the pregnant body is far from that.  But this kind of messaging creates the image that a pregnant body is not a sexy body.  I must beg to differ.

I have never felt sexier than I do not that I’m pregnant.  From watching my belly grow bigger and bigger to the cleavage that I never thought possible.  Here is my list of the top 10 ways that I’ve enjoyed my sexy body during pregnancy:

1. Maximize the cleavage.  I’ve never had huge boobs and now that I have them I totally want to flaunt them.  It’s probably because they are only temporary so I feel the need to enjoy them while they last.  But whatever the reason, it certainly makes me feel sexy to push up the boobage a little bit to get the most out of what I’ve got.

2. Practice yoga.  It’s not something I did much before my pregnancy but now that I’m pregnant I’m sure to do a little prenatal yoga in the morning to help stretch out my body and make room for baby.  I have found that my prenatal yoga DVD helps me to enjoy my changing body and really be in touch with the changes that my body is going through.

3. And with that, stay present with your body.  I have found myself totally lost in the moment feeling those baby kicks.  Enjoying the moment and the experience that is so unique to my own pregnant body has helped me to stay connected and appreciate the uniqueness that my body is experiencing.

4. Do those kegels.  I hear it (and say it) all the time, the important role of kegel exercises in pushing during labor and healing after pregnancy.  And it’s true.  But there is another good reason to do kegel exercises – pleasure!  I will pop in my smart balls for an hour or two, flex those muscles and feel the pleasure of the exercise.

5. Masturbate often.  Masturbation is always a  great release and has helped me feel really connected to my own body.  Using toys or hands has helped me explore my body and all of its changes during pregnancy.  I have found my clit to be extra sensitive during pregnancy and my nipples respond surprisingly well to stimulation.  Enjoy your changing body – and the more powerful orgasms that you are probably feeling as well.

6. Ask for what you want in the bedroom.  My body has changed and so have the types of stimulation that I enjoy.  Letting my partner know what feels good has given him a sense of pleasure to know what he can do to please my pregnant body.

7. Pamper yourself.  I’ve heard this one a lot too, even before I was pregnant.  Knowing that soon there will be a little one running around taking all of my attention has helped me realize that the time to enjoy myself is now.  Manicures, pedicures, massages – all of these can be a special treat that makes you feel sexy from head to toe.

8. Use pillows as props.  As my body continues to grow throughout the pregnancy I have found that sex gets awkward because I can’t seem to find the right position.  Pillows and wedges have been my savior.  My favorite is the iceberg which is small enough to store under the bed or in the closet but the perfect size for boosting my bum.

9. Buy some sexy lingerie. Sometimes wearing maternity clothes can feel like I’m putting on a garbage bag every day (when am I  going to be able to wear those tight jeans again?).  I have a sexy piece of lingerie that I will slip into any time I need that boost in confidence.  And I don’t just wear it for my partner; who says you can’t clean the house in sexy lingerie?

10. Have that “sex after pregnancy talk”.  This is an important conversation to have and talking about sex can feel just as sexy as having it.  I felt sexy just thinking about all of the ways that we would keep sex alive once the baby comes along.  It’s important to remember how sexy you are and how sexy you will continue to be after giving birth.

One of the most significant things that I have learned during this pregnancy is that how sexy I feel is how sexy others will see me.  While I’ve seen a lot written about how your partner can make you feel sexy during pregnancy, there is a lot to be said for how you can make yourself feel sexy.  No matter how your body is changing – whether it be stretch marks or extra weight gain in the ass and thighs – there is always something sexy about your pregnant body.  Take time and enjoy your sexy, pregnant self!

Today we are giving away a set of Luna Beads kegal balls. This will help not only the birthing process but also in bed. 😉 So enter below for your chance to win!!

*Babeland packaging is discreet. Please enter the address where you wish the prize to be sent to if chosen to be one of our winners.

THE CONTEST HAS ENDED

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10 Tips to Help Your Marriage Thrive

Having marriage troubles? You’re not alone.

If you go to our forums on Big Tent and type in “marriage” you will find many others who are going though or have gone though a point were their marriage was stressed to the max and even seemed hopeless. MANY couples go though a rough time when kids arrive and change the dynamics of the relationship. But those tests can help strengthen your relationship in the long run.

*We are not therapists and this series of articles are only for moral support.

Below is some great advice from our very own Twiniversity members about how they worked though the hard times. Maybe one of these will help you reconnect with your spouse? Also scroll down for today’s giveaway to help you connect in another way. 😉

1. Prioritize Relationships- “I always tell my children that “mommy & daddy” time is mandatory, it trumps everything else. If my husband and I aren’t good, then the kids don’t stand a chance. Our twins brought our total number of kiddos to 7. There is no way our family would be as strong as it is without making our relationship #1. Talk, text, date, leave letters, flirt, put special gifts or notes in his car at night so that he can find them on his way to work. Be creative but make your relationship #1, dare I say even before the children.”
2. Solitary time- “Yes, it is important to have “us” time, but also important to have “me” time so you don’t loose yourself which can cause resentment that adds to marital discord. Try to do something for yourself to recharged your battery. When I’m refreshed I start to feel sexy again and that helps me connect with my husband in ways he needs.”
3. Movie Night– “Kids don’t reinforce a relationship, they test its absolute limits (and sometimes beyond). To repair a relationship my advice is this, and although you both wont feel like it at all, have a weekly date. For us its Saturday night, we go out on the early side and go see a movie first (very important) and go to dinner after. The movie will allow you to disconnect and forget all the heart hake for a moment and at dinner, if you have nothing to say, you will at least he the movie to talk about. Try it, your twins are worth it, so is he and so are you. Remember, every Saturday, movie 1st.”
4. Be Committed- “Be committed to working it out together regardless of what stands in the way. Learn the art of compromise, priorities, and embracing each other’s faults.”
5. Remember to Laugh- “Remember to laugh and have fun in every moment available. Don’t take yourselves to serious!! Oh and make time for sex and make it fun!”
6. Projects Together- “Doing projects together and working together as a team, even if only one person is doing a project, the other stays involved as company while accomplishing it.”
7. Projects for Just You- “Especially if you are the one who stays home with the children this is a must to have something that is just yours! I remember resenting that my husband got to go to work and have a break from the kids and have adult interaction. A project could be learning how to sew, starting a small business like selling home made knit hats, Yoga, anything. Helping yourself feel like an individual will help you not resent your partner.”
8. Mini Vacation- “Every year for our anniversary we go away for 1-3 nights. That really helps.”
9. Reevaluate Yourself- “You may not know it, but you may be too controlling in raising the twins “your” way which may leave your husband feeling like he can’t do his part for fear he will disappoint you. I know I suffered from that – “martyr mom syndrome”, often to my own detriment. Sometimes you have to let go and just smile when the diaper is put on backwards or soap was used before the shampoo. Walk away and go and do something constructive instead of hovering like a helicopter wife! Trust me, a man will never do it like you can, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong.”
10. Fake It- “Fake it till you make it! I don’t mean just let him have his way, but try to act interested and then you will become interested. Constantly turning your husband down to be intimate because you are to tired or your not in the mood can become a habit. Give him a chance to turn you on. I know that as a mom of young twins I feel like everyone constantly wants something of me, and most nights the last thing I want after the kids go to bed is him wanting something from me too. But when I allow “it” to happen, I usually am glad I did. And eventually I started wanting “it” myself.”

JimmyJane Vibrator

What is your top tip for making a marriage work?

Would a little spice in the bedroom help you reconnect? Today we are giving away 2 JimmyJane Form 3 Vibrators from Babeland to add some spice to your love life. Fill out the form below to enter to win one. Surprise your husband with wanting to fool around or surprise your wife with wanting to help her reach her peak.

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Babysitters Saved My Sex Life

Written By Anne – staff writer at Babeland

Don’t worry, this is not a post about dating babysitters. It’s about using babysitters so you can go on a date. My first piece of advice to all moms is this: use babysitters as often as you can, it will save your sanity first, and your sex life second. No excuses.

I was the first among my circle of friends to get pregnant (at the ripe old age of 32). Many of my friends and coworkers offered to babysit, and I tell you, if I had it to do over again, I would have taken each one of them up on their offer then and there. But I didn’t for reasons that will sound familiar to all moms: I thought it was a lot to ask, or that they didn’t really mean it, or that they didn’t think they could handle it, or I didn’t feel like arranging it.

However, every parent fantasizes about having a stable full of talented, reliable, available-at-a-moment’s-notice babysitters, so they can have some privacy and time off from the demands of child-rearing. That’s not a reality for most of us, so the next best thing is to plug into a local parent’s network and start getting recommendations for paid babysitters, and testing them out till you get two or three you like.

The biggest excuse I hear for not hiring babysitters is money. At ten bucks an hour, plus the price of your dinner and movie out, you can see why many parents talk themselves into staying home. But it is worth it, I promise, because you need a night off to relax, or a weekend off to reconnect.

So first exhaust all your free options: hit up friends and family members you’d trust with your kids. If you know other moms, offer to “swap” nights–you take her kid one night, she takes yours another. (As your kids get older, this is a golden babysitting arrangement because the kids entertain each other). Some parents even start baby-sitting co-ops. But eventually you’ll find yourself needing to hire a sitter on short notice, so accept that and start the “get a babysitter for date night” fund. You might even decide to hire a babysitter on “retainer” because then you’ll have both a regularly-scheduled date night and a reliable sitter. Because I’m a  mom who puts her money where her mouth is, I’m going to pass on some money-saving tips–so you can take whatever cash you free up with one of these tips and put it immediately into this fund!

• Find lower interest rates on credit cards and loans
• Get a roommate to share expenses or share a house with another parent
• Buy second hand clothes, appliances, furniture
• Bring bag lunches to work
• Skip the high end coffee drinks, put the money in a babysitting fund
• Sell your car and take public transportation
• Find recurring expenses that you can do without or cut down on: cell phone plans, cable TV, gym memberships, music downloads
• Comparison shop online for lowest prices, special offers, reduced rates, free shipping, etc.

For more Money savings tips from Twiniversity read this article- Cutting Corners for Multiple Savings

So make date, get a baby sitter, grandparent, sister, best friend…. whoever, and rediscover each other… emotionally and physically. To help you we are giving away a Honeymoon in a box kit from Babeland. The kit includes vibrators, flavored lube and oil, and a dirty dice to help keep things spontaneous. Just don’t blame us if you get one or two new additions to your family….lol

FOUR Twiniversity winners will be chosen for today’s prize. *All their supplies come discreetly packaged when delivered.* Just fill out the form below (one entry per person) and we will announce all winners Nov 5th. We will have giveaways every day this week so come back every day to see what we have for you.

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