Should you feel guilty about having adult time away from your twins? The answer is NO! You have to take care of yourself mentally and emotionally to be a good rounded person and parent. But make sure you choose to be in good healthy relationship, one that is worthy of you and your children. But is it even possible to date while being a single parent to twins? These single MoM’s have some tips!!
Ashlie (23)- single mother to 3 year old twins.
Have you been back on the dating scene as a single parent or left the door open for a relationship in the future?
Yes! I started dating when the twins were about 10 months old. I was 20 years old and wanted to find someone to share my life with that would also want to be a father to the twins. I’ve been in a few relationships trying to find someone worthy of my children. I am currently in a relationship with a man who is a widower and who has a son two weeks older than my own twins. He has shown me that real men do exist out there. We have not been dating too long, but I hope that this is THE one because it is nice to have someone to share your life with — twins and all.
How is dating while being a single parent of twins? More
Today we have a Q&A with Ashlie Ruggiero. Ashlie is a single mom to 3 year old boy/girl twins. Ashie continued to get her education while raising them as a single mother with the aid of her loving family. She was recently crowned Ms. Connecticut in the U.S. of America Pageant as well as New England’s Outstanding Mom. Let’s get to know her.
How did you feel when you first realized you would be raising your twins as a single parent?
It was very difficult for me to make the decision to raise them as a single mother. I had always had this perception of the perfect family being a mother, father, and children, and I did not want to raise my children out of that vision. But throughout my pregnancy my relationship with my fiancé, their father, deteriorated. I first had to realize that my children would never be happy if I was not happy. By the time my twins were 4 months old I made the decision to stand up for my family. Although I was brave enough to do so, I was scared of how I could cope and if I could ever give my children all that they deserved. Once the initial shock of what I had done wore off, I realized I had one less “child” to take care of. I had always done everything on my own even when their father was around (baths, feedings, changing, etc) so it wasn’t anything out of my norm other than a lack of arguments over why I was doing everything alone.
What sacrifices have you had to make being a single parent? More
Contributed by Nicole Ratliff, 26. Mother of 2 year old boy/girl twins. Nicole is striving to raise her twins as a single mother while coping with Spina Bifida.
-My childhood was filled with what seemed like endless trips to the hospitals for spinal cord surgeries. In my lifetime, I have had 7 spinal cord surgeries, 1 surgery to realign my left foot, a surgery to correct my toes on my right foot. I became partially disabled after my last spinal cord surgery and lost the feeling and muscle control in my left leg from the knee down and I suffer from chronic pain throughout my entire left leg. I now have to wear a leg brace for the rest of my life and use a cane. I had to relearn how to do every day simple things again, such as taking a bath, getting in/out of the car, getting dressed and walking up/down stairs. I was only 16. I felt like my life was over and fell into a terrible depression and my life started to spiral out of control. I went to college for a few years but I spent most of my early college days partying and drinking to drown out the pain and depression. I slept with a slew of guys, until I found a guy I actually started to care about. He was a military guy. It was a whirlwind romance and after 5 weeks we were engaged. He PCSed to Colorado and I started working on transferring and moving my stuff. Shortly after he left I realized my period was late… sure enough I was pregnant. My fiancé was excited about our expected arrival, but our happiness didn’t last long. He revealed to me he was married but was getting a divorce soon. I broke things off with him at that moment. I thought “if he could cheat on his current wife with me, who’s to say he won’t do the same to me?”
Because of my Spinia Bifida I was already considered a high risk pregnancy. Then I found out at nine weeks that I was carrying twins. My pregnancy was taxing mentally and physically. As the babies grew they pressed on my sciatic nerve causing me to have frequent fainting spells. Mentally I couldn’t believe I was pregnant… and all alone. This wasn’t how I pictured I would bring my kids in the world, without a father, just like how I grew up. I was scared and I didn’t know how I would provide for me and my kids.
The first year with the twins is a blur because of the lack of sleep. At times I thought I was going to lose my mind from the exhaustion and trying to care for two screaming babies. I tried online school while taking care of them but I found it too much to handle so I took a year off. More
Contributed by Donna Lyons. Single mother to 19 year old twin daughter a 15 year old son.
Most people—at least the ones I have met in the past 50 years of my life—don’t get married and have children with the assumption that they will one day be divorced or widowed from their spouse and a single parent to their children. Most of us expect the happily-ever-after we learned about in our childhood fairy tales and movies. So, what happens when that “happily-ever-after” falls apart and you find yourself in a new situation—one that involves a divorce or a death, and leaves you a single parent? How do you cope? What do you tell the children? How do you move forward and start anew?
For me, the transition to single parenting happened almost 22-years into my marriage. My twin daughters were 17 and my singleton son was 13. While there had been marital differences and counseling off-and-on over the years, I never thought my marriage would end in divorce. I also never thought my ex-husband, who was an incredible father to our three children, would ever choose to leave his children. But that is exactly what happened.
~Coping~
Everyone has different coping mechanisms for dealing with sudden and dramatic changes in their lives. According to licensed counselor William DeFoore, Ph.D, there are seven stages of grief associated with a divorce: shock, denial, anger, bargaining, guilt, depression and acceptance. People will experience these stages differently and likewise, will work through them differently than others.
For me, the initial shock was intense. My ex-husband and I had had communication issues throughout our marriage, and were in counseling at the time of our separation. However, the “D” word had never been uttered. We were, after all, a Christian couple and I always assumed we’d work through our problems and come out happy on the other end. The initial shock of the separation and my ex-husband’s decision to file for divorce left me feeling numb and dazed. More
They sing, play dress up, sword fight, explore nature and play with bugs. These girls do it all!
There moms describes them and “self-rescuing princess”
We fell in love with them and so will you!
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We asked their mom. What is your favorite part about being a mother of twins?
Seeing the love between them. Even when my husband and I “divide & conquer” the list of errands and each take a girl, they’ll say things like “we should get one for Caleigh too” or “I think Alessa would love this”. They’re both fiercely independent and are “self rescuing princesses”, happy with a sword or light saber in their hand as they dress in ball gowns. They love stories where the female character saves the day or rescues the prince – the damsel in distress/ princess waiting for her prince to sweep her off her feet doesn’t cut it with them. They’re confused why the princess isn’t off having adventures too! It’s been heart-breakingly wondrous to watch them become their own little people. They’re getting to the point where they’re becoming self-sufficient – I can set a checklist in front of them for items to put in a stack to pack for a trip and they can do it, they’ll play together in the backyard for hours, and they’ve finally learned that playing quietly together in their bedroom until 8 on weekends makes for much happier, fun parents 😉
What makes them unique?
Caleigh is outgoing & friendly and loves to be center stage. Alessa is more reserved and loves to view the world with a quiet, naturalist’s eye before documenting it in her field journal. Snuggle hugs vs fierce hugs, arts vs athletics, mercurial vs routine driven – my sweet girls are more different than day & night. But they fit together so perfectly… I wouldn’t change them in any way.
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Their mom asked them a few questions for us so we could get to know them better. Here are their answers.
What do you like most about being twins?
Alessa: “I get to have a sister – to be with, to play with, to LIVE with.”
Caleigh: “I like being with my sister & never being alone.”
What your interests?
Alessa: “What I REALLY like to do is go swimming & look at nature.”
Caleigh: “Usually, I play in the backyard and catch bugs and other exciting stuff. We use our imaginations!”
What is your favorite toy?
Alessa: “I love my Etch a Sketch and my My Little Ponies.”
Caleigh: “My Little Ponies – especially the Rarity with the sparkly hair.”
(we live a very “pony-centric” life right now at our house)
What is your favorite song?
Alessa: “Hey Soul Sister” (by Train)
Caleigh: “Mean” (by Taylor Swift)
What is your favorite subject in school?
Alessa: “I’ll be in second grade next year. I love to do math, but I love reading a lot too.”
Caleigh: “My favorite thing in school was music – we learned all sorts of cool songs and dances, but what I really liked was throwing away my math workbook on the last day of school.
What is your favorite book?
Alessa: “The Night Before Christmas.”
Caleigh: “Go Dog Go.”
Here is a cute video of Alessa and Caleigh singing
Alessa and Caleighs will receive this Creative Projects Table from our friends at Step 2. It has many compartments for storing art supplies, books and more. It has a large work space and two stools, perfect for twins to be creative together.
Do you think your twinnies are outstanding and should be highlighted here on Twiniversity.com? Send in your funniest pictures, most clever videos, heart melting photos or amazing story, whatever makes you think your kiddos are tops!
Then email Community@Twiniversity.com with the subject “Twinnies of the Month” and tell us why your twinnies rock. Include pictures and/or a video (YouTube links would be great) to back up your story.
All submissions will be considered by our team and if your multiples are chosen, an awesome Step2 prize will come their way!
Today all across the United States we celebrate Independence Day! So sit back, relax and take a moment to celebrate the freedom of our country.
Typically most of us are enjoying barbecues, fireworks, beach days, and cold beers, but be careful. (I’m such a mom. lol)
Wear your sunscreen, make sure your food is well cooked on your BBQ, watch your kiddos and fireworks, and don’t drink and drive ensuring that this will be the best 4th of July ever!
This article was written by Nickie Bell, a contributing writer of Multiplicity. Nickie is a stay at home mom to 3 year old identical twin girls. She is a freelance writer for Everyday Health, who hosts her blog Twins-A Mother’s Joy and Insanity Doubled. Nickie publishes her own self titled blog Mommy 2 Twincesses and manages the family owned business. Talking twins is her hobby so find her on Facebook and follow her on Twitter!
” It seems that everywhere you look these days there are campaigns to “Go Green”. From automobiles, clothing and cleaning supplies, to diapers, reusable lunch sacks and food, everything is a bit ‘greener’.
Though I’m all about saving the environment, I’m honestly more focused on saving my family’s pocketbook. The economy’s current slump has helped people to become more aware, recycle, reduce, and reuse, therefore “Going Green” has become part of the penny-pinching system for many families.We have all seen the success of the Extreme Couponers. Maybe you are one of them (and if you are, I am super jealous and I want you to share your tips!).
However, if you’re like me, you’ve found that with a family of at least four, possibly a career and even volunteer work, it may be simply too much work, too time consuming, and altogether just too much. I like simple and good old fashioned “DIY”. It’s because of those reasons that I have fallen in love with homemaking my own laundry detergent and fabric softener. It’s green, cheap, and simple, and with the ingredients and a little know-how, you can do it, too! More
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