Contributed by Nicole Ratliff, 26. Mother of 2 year old boy/girl twins. Nicole is striving to raise her twins as a single mother while coping with Spina Bifida.

-My childhood was filled with what seemed like endless trips to the hospitals for spinal cord surgeries. In my lifetime, I have had 7 spinal cord surgeries, 1 surgery to realign my left foot, a surgery to correct my toes on my right foot.  I became partially disabled after my last spinal cord surgery and lost the feeling and muscle control in my left leg from the knee down and I suffer from chronic pain throughout my entire left leg. I now have to wear a leg brace for the rest of my life and use a cane. I had to relearn how to do every day simple things again, such as taking a bath, getting in/out of the car, getting dressed and walking up/down stairs. I was only 16. I felt like my life was over and fell into a terrible depression and my life started to spiral out of control. I went to college for a few years but I spent most of my early college days partying and drinking to drown out the pain and depression. I slept with a slew of guys, until I found a guy I actually started to care about. He was a military guy. It was a whirlwind romance and after 5 weeks we were engaged. He PCSed to Colorado and I started working on transferring and moving my stuff.  Shortly after he left I realized my period was late… sure enough I was pregnant. My fiancé was excited about our expected arrival, but our happiness didn’t last long. He revealed to me he was married but was getting a divorce soon.  I broke things off with him at that moment. I thought “if he could cheat on his current wife with me, who’s to say he won’t do the same to me?”

Because of my Spinia Bifida I was already considered a high risk pregnancy. Then I found out at nine weeks that I was carrying twins. My pregnancy was taxing mentally and physically. As the babies grew they pressed on my sciatic nerve causing me to have frequent fainting spells. Mentally I couldn’t believe I was pregnant… and all alone.  This wasn’t how I pictured I would bring my kids in the world, without a father, just like how I grew up. I was scared and I didn’t know how I would provide for me and my kids.

The first year with the twins is a blur because of the lack of sleep. At times I thought I was going to lose my mind from the exhaustion and trying to care for two screaming babies. I tried online school while taking care of them but I found it too much to handle so I took a year off. More