Dating While Being a Single MoM

Should you feel guilty about having adult time away from your twins? The answer is NO! You have to take care of yourself mentally and emotionally  to  be a good rounded person and parent. But make sure you choose to be in good healthy relationship, one that is worthy of you and your children. But is it even  possible to date while being a single parent to twins? These single MoM’s have some tips!!

 

 

Ashlie (23)- single mother to 3 year old twins.

• Have you been back on the dating scene as a single parent or left the door open for a relationship in the future?

Yes! I started dating when the twins were about 10 months old.  I was 20 years old and wanted to find someone to share my life with that would also want to be a father to the twins.  I’ve been in a few relationships trying to find someone worthy of my children. I am currently in a relationship with a man who is a widower and who has a son two weeks older than my own twins.  He has shown me that real men do exist out there.  We have not been dating too long, but I hope that this is THE one because it is nice to have someone to share your life with — twins and all.

• How is dating while being a single parent of twins?

Transitioning to Single Parenting

Contributed by Donna Lyons. Single mother to 19 year old twin daughter a 15 year old son.

Most people—at least the ones I have met in the past 50 years of my life—don’t get married and have children with the assumption that they will one day be divorced or widowed from their spouse and a single parent to their children. Most of us expect the happily-ever-after we learned about in our childhood fairy tales and movies.  So, what happens when that “happily-ever-after” falls apart and you find yourself in a new situation—one that involves a divorce or a death, and leaves you a single parent? How do you cope? What do you tell the children? How do you move forward and start anew?

For me, the transition to single parenting happened almost 22-years into my marriage. My twin daughters were 17 and my singleton son was 13. While there had been marital differences and counseling off-and-on over the years, I never thought my marriage would end in divorce. I also never thought my ex-husband, who was an incredible father to our three children, would ever choose to leave his children. But that is exactly what happened.

~Coping~

Everyone has different coping mechanisms for dealing with sudden and dramatic changes in their lives. According to licensed counselor William DeFoore, Ph.D, there are seven stages of grief associated with a divorce: shock, denial, anger, bargaining, guilt, depression and acceptance. People will experience these stages differently and likewise, will work through them differently than others.

For me, the initial shock was intense. My ex-husband and I had had communication issues throughout our marriage, and were in counseling at the time of our separation. However, the “D” word had never been uttered. We were, after all, a Christian couple and I always assumed we’d work through our problems and come out happy on the other end. The initial shock of the separation and my ex-husband’s decision to file for divorce left me feeling numb and dazed.