Big Brother/Sister-to-be

By: Toby Amir Fox

Whenever I meet a second-time mom, especially one who is expecting twins, I am often asked what I did to prepare my only child for the arrival of his twin sisters. My answer: keep it as normal and “real” as possible.

Noah was almost four when his sisters were born.When we explained to 3 year old Noah that he was going to become a big brother to twins it was very anticlimactic. He thought about it for a few seconds then asked if he could go watch cartoons. As the weeks and months unfolded we tried to prepare him for the invasion of two little sisters by talking about the babies and reading a few “I’m the Big Brother“ books. He asked questions and helped pick out a gift to give his sisters in the hospital, but I really don’t know how much he actually understood.  At 34 weeks I made a big deal about bringing him with me for an ultrasound, I thought maybe he would get excited. As I lay on the table with my massive stomach and stretch marks exposed in all their glory, my son took one look at the screen and began to interrogate my OBGYN about his favorite foods and religious beliefs. I was embarrassed. Noah was clearly indifferent.

Raising a Manny in Charge

Written By: Frankie Howley

Becoming a teenager is hard. Middle school. The competition. The need to fit in. Add to that the responsibility of being a big brother to twin sisters and you can imagine my surprise when my eldest son, swung open his bedroom door on a Wednesday evening and said, “Mom/Dad, when I move out to go to college, I could probably get a job as a nanny, since I help with the twins.” With a smile, I told him that he wouldn’t want to be called a nanny. “That’s ok,”he said. “I could be called a Manny!” (He was referencing a quirky and lovable pre-teen boy named Manny on the popular television show, Modern Family).

It was right then that I realized that there is no shame in asking for help. For months before the twins were born, I read that new parents of multiples must learn to accept a ‘helping’ hand whenever possible. I didn’t want to believe it, but then it happened to me. The twins arrived, and my family and friends gradually returned to work and their own lives. Guilt ridden, I turned to my son, Zachary. I knew it would be tough teaching Zack, (who was an only child for nine years), how to care for his new newborn sisters so we started out small. First, he helped me prepare their bottles, and then came the change of diapers and until eventually he was helping with almost all the routine tasks.