Separate Presents, simple etiquette when attending parties for multiples

Written by Susanne Budofsky

“Birthday parties. My kids live for them, and as a mother of triplets, I dread them. Now I’m not talking about the demands of throwing a bash for your multiples and 50 of their closest friends and classmates. The bigger drama in our house is other kids’ parties.

Depending on what child (or children) the party is for and what activities or classes we know them from, one, two, or all three of our kids could be on the invite list. Jack has been to three parties this month, for instance, but no invites for my daughter. Besides the potential scheduling and emotional dilemmas, there is the big question of how many gifts we should bring. Party invites, gift giving, and receiving always seem to be topics of discussion among my multiples friends and me. While we’ve found no official rulebook, the following are a few guidelines that we’ve adopted in regards to party etiquette for parents of multiples.

Whether multiples, singletons, or two or more children of different ages are involved, the etiquette shouldn’t change. Each child is an individual and should be treated as such. Somehow though, the lines get a little blurred for families of multiples. If all of your multiples are invited to a child’s birthday party, technically each should bring a gift for the birthday child. However, finding three unique and fun presents for one child can be tough for a busy parent squeezing a trip to the toy store in between a hundred other chores, and not to mention the expense. I often opt for one larger and more expensive gift, instead of two or three less expensive ones. Sometimes I’ll also include smaller token gifts from each of my kids to accompany the nicer group gift so that each of my kids can hand their friend a present.